Holiday

I had it all planned out. You ever look forward to something so much that you play it out in your head and sometimes even on paper. I was going to get a 4 day pass. 4 days to see my wife and my son. We decided to meet in Mobile, AL. She flew there, and I drove there to meet her, it is only about an hour and a half from here so not such a long trip.

I was thinking of all the things that you would imagine we would do together. Walks on the beach, nice quiet dinners, some quality alone time... You get the picture. My wife and I have been married for 11 1/2 years now, all of that time it has been just us. Just us in a small, small, small apartment near the St. Paul campus, just us in a nice place near the Minneapolis campus, just us together in Philadelphia. We have learned to rely upon one another for companionship and we also "own" each other's time. There is a certain expectation there that we have for each other, and expectation that we will take the time for each other.

So this 4 day pass would be no different, we got the time and we would be together so let loose the together time. Oh I forgot to mention one thing; had a baby 3 months ago. Babies take a lot of time, and they don't seem to care if it is not their turn for attention. Even if you were just paying attention to him, if he wants your attention he will make sure he gets it.

So our walks on the beach included some feeding and diaper changing, our quiet dinners well they were a little shorter than they usually are, and our quality alone time well lets just say we were never really alone. I must admit that even though I was so glad to see Anne and Connor, I began to resent him just a little. I remembered when I used to be the center of my wife's attention and I liked it that way.

The Lord has interesting ways to show us just how selfish we really are. I remember when I first got married I woke up one morning and saw my beautiful bride, my first thought was "boy am I lucky to have such a great wife," my second thought was "Hey! Hey that's my shirt I was going to wear that today." My selfish heart has now turned on my son and the object we are fighting for is his mother. When we got to the hotel and I saw my little boy my first thought was, "wow the Lord has really blessed me, he has given me this awesome little boy to look after," my second thought was, "Ok little guy go to sleep and let me have some time here with MY bride."

The boy wakes up every few hours, I do not know why parents ever have more than one child. It seriously is like a hardcore form of torture. I am grateful that my wife is there to take care of him and I do feel bad that I have left here all alone to deal with the parenting for this first year. I think she wants to have more just so I can experience the joy of parenting first hand.

I really enjoyed my pass, and I wouldn't trade the time for anything. The boy is trouble on a stick, but I miss him already. He was a constant pain in the @$$, but man what I wouldn't give to have him here right now. My wife, I don't know how she does it. She has a lot on her plate and yet she is able to function. I love you honey thanks for coming to see me. I miss them both, they are what makes 12 months seem like a lifetime.

As much as I like to believe that the Lord has squeezed all the selfish juice out of me, it seems like there is always more that will come out. It would appear as if I still have much more to learn about selflessness.