Take 2
OK going to try this again. I have started other posts since the last but I have not finished any as you may have noticed. I have realized that I am trying to hard. I wanted to catch up on everything in one post but I think it would be better if I just started with what I did this week.
This week I have been involved with Warrior Transition Training all week. We are preparing the guys to come home. It is a big change we have in store for us. I am totally ready to go home but part of me will kind of miss this place as weird as that sounds. I also found out that there a bunch of things I am angry about. I knew they were there but I guess I chose to ignore them.
We had a class on anger management that I want to run past you. Their basic premise was A + B = C. Event plus belief leads to a certain reaction. One is unable to change the events in their life so that much is what it is. Your belief about that event will then shape your reaction. So for example if event: Guy cuts you off in traffic, you believe it was on purpose, your reaction will be to speed up and tailgate the jerk. She told us that the key to changing your reaction was to change your belief. Maybe the driver was taking his pregnant wife to the hospital or her sick kid. Then your reaction would not be so aggressive.
Here's my problem. As far as the things I am currently angry about; I am finding it impossible to change my belief. My belief that certain things were done intentionally and with malice. Thinking about it only makes me more angry. How do I change my belief. Guess the only way is to confront the individuals I am angry with. Some of the things are that simple. I know that I have to find a way to put my anger behind me. Hope I will find a way.
posted by Chaplain Luken at 3:35 PM
11 Comments:
Hi Todd,
Anger is deadly and I think we all need help to learn now to manage it.
When we concentrate on Our Lord's love, we can see that that is more powerful than our hurt feelings, our own ego (s), our own feelings of resentment, abandonment, and our own sense of pride. Our Lord will not abandon us. His love is not inclusive. He knows our imperfections and we need His constant sense of hope so that we can go out into the world and into our communities and sustain each other.
Our pastor said that he was going thru a time where he didn't think his mother loved him. So he started saying the rosary on the subway in Chicago enroute to work. Soon afterwards his relationship with his mother improved and then he decided to become a priest after a successful career.
I heard a counselor say that when we are angry, it is better to cool it for at least 10 seconds before we do or say anything. That way the anger may dissipate. I remember my sister who is a school social worker used to talk about feeling validated. And from what I understand, I think that means that sometimes it just helps to have somebody there for you who will at least say that they can understand how you feel. One of my friends called this afternoon and said she thought I was doing a marvelous job, so that made me feel like I am a worthwhile person (feeling validated).
I will miss reading your blog and all our soldiers blogs when you come back home. I feel like I should support you, but instead, I think you all give us hope! I hope and pray you find that kind of hope and support when you get back home.
Sorry you'll miss cousin Jim and Eunice's 50th wedding anniversary celebration, Todd, but hope your wife and son can join us. Randy and I have a wedding the day before, so we'll have a fun weekend.
Keep the faith. Thanks for your recent blog. Sack says, "Chappy keeps busy."
Hope you have a good worship service today in Iraq and God bless.
Love, Judy and Uncle Randy
My wife helped me with the road rage kind of anger by helping me to picture the fact that it usually isn't done our of malice.
If someone there was being malicious, then it's tougher. But you could try to do that Jesus thing. ;)
I am looking forward to you returning. I know it's hard to get together with you when you live an hour away, but I can't even find a roadmap that will get me to Iraq. Can you believe that?
Hi Todd,
In honor of Jim and Eunice's 50th wedding anniversary, I'm including this poem which I found in a Sun. bulletin. I used it in a card for my parents when they celebrated their 50th, ten years ago.
Argument (in answer to Edna St. Vincent Millay) by A. Michele Leslie
"I tell you, love is all. It is a meal on silver plates, not mean, of spring-fed wine and wheat, and roses, thorns; it is a pine bough that no wind can sway, a human wheel that turns eternally beneath each teal-blue sky. It is; and silenced, yet will mime the stage that makes an aged heart sublime and turns grim youth into a jeweled castle.
I tell you, love is not the absent place for love fills up each void like snow that settles down upon a bending mast on ships that search the sky for a blinded race. Love is all; love is a choice the bow makes for the arrow; there's nothing else at last."
Printed in Illuminations - Autumn, 1992
We keep you in our prayers.
Peace.
Love, Judy and Uncle Randy
Read Evel Squirrel lately?
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Todd, I don't know you, or you me, but I have been checking your blog regularly for a while looking for those "rare" updates. I appreciate your thoughts and the information you share. My heart goes out to you as you struggle through your inner feelings, and I will be praying for you. Just a thought I wanted to share with you: Anger is a strange emotion that destroys the life of the one who holds on to it. Sometimes we believe we have the right to be angry.
I am one of those people who used to be chronically angry. But after much prayer and help from friends, I was able to pray "Lord, restore unto me the joy of my salvation." Remember what Jesus said in Jn. 10:10, that "the thief (Satan) comes only to steal, kill, and destroy" but Jesus said, "I have come so that you may have life, and have it more abundantly."
God is so good! Pray with me that your joy may be restored, and pray also, that through God's grace, you will be able to "Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you." Luke 6:27-28
God Bless You My Friend
Mark
Have you eaten any scorpions or spider?
Do you build sandcastles?
Can you tell I am waiting for more bits of wisdom from you?
Post something!
Now!
Or later.
Or better yet, after you've been home for two weeks (when you do get here) and get reconnected with your wife and son, find out a time we can visit.
Since you haven't answered my questions, I will do it for you. ;)
Todd: Yes, they taste great!
Roland: The spiders or the scorpions?
Todd: Both.
Roland: What do you season them with?
Todd: Sand, from the bottom of my boot. There ain't no need to cook them either, that way.
Roland: Do you eat them right off of your boot?
Todd: Yup.
Roland: Bootlicker!
The preceding was not paid for. Who would be stupid enough to do that?
Don't you ever wish some people would just shut up?
I mean, if someone told me to shut up, I'd shut up.
After all, I'm not stupid, you know what I mean?
I mean to say that if you want me to shut up, I'll shut up.
No one has to tell me more than once...
For some reason I was thinking of a Bugs Bunny cartoon. Should I be shutting up now? ;)
Hi Todd,
Randy and I just got back from a too short trip to Branson, MO --the first time we've been there where the weather cooperated.
Margaret said that you'll be starting to pack your bags and getting ready to head back home soon. So that was good to hear.
We like Roland's latest entry and firmly believe that humor resolves a lot of difficulties. When Randy and I were in Branson, we made our "handicapped accessible" motel reservations in advance and were assured that they could accommodate us. However, when we got to our room the toilet was coming off the foundation and if Randy had leaned on it, he would have gone right over with the toilet. Now I'd call that an outhouse. After we found more suitable accommodations, we had a good laugh about Branson's "luxurious" Yellow Rose Motel!
Sorry to hear that they are doing away with many of these blogsites due to security precautions. Therefore, I hope you can get these notes to you.
Take care. We miss you and love you very much. God bless.
Love, Judy and Uncle Randy
Hey Todd! I just wanted to stop by and say hello- this is Sara Fisher, Jon's wife.
Hope you and Anne are doing well... tell her I said hey!
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